Every interaction is powerful. Every person we meet leaves an imprint on us. Some encounters bring out joy, making us feel as if we have known the person for years. Others can trigger us, plunging us into a dark place. And then there are those we become addicted to because they represent something familiar from our past, a pattern we recognize and gravitate toward, almost like an addiction.
For a long time, I found myself stuck in a cycle, constantly trying to be good enough. If someone blocked or ignored me, it felt like a reflection of my worth. I would keep trying, hoping to be seen and valued. It was like climbing a slippery slope, an endless chase of shadows that left me drained and disheartened.
But I’ve finally moved past that stage of my life. I no longer feel the need to connect or contact people who don’t see my worth. If you truly know your value and are self-aware, you start to recognize these patterns within yourself. You begin to call yourself out internally, correcting your responses and breaking free from old habits.
Coming to a place of self-awareness saves a lot of time. Walking through life unconscious and unaware, you waste years on people and situations that aren’t worth it. Yet, they are your teachers because without them, you wouldn’t get to where you are now. This mantra plays in my head often, though it’s not easy to stick to. As a human, it’s easy to be angry at yourself for not knowing better. Finding peace in this realization is a goal, requiring you to let go of many emotions—not because these people are worth knowing again, but because letting go is the only way to move forward.
It’s easy to be angry at people who have crossed the line and hurt us deeply. However, they too have their own demons to deal with. Sometimes, we cross paths with people whose demons don’t get along with ours. Understanding this doesn’t excuse their actions but offers a perspective that can lead to healing. To get to this point, it is not an easy road but a necessary one if we are ever going to live a life authentically as ourselves.
I’ve wasted decades on the wrong paths and situations. I don’t blame anyone for this, but now I’m selfish with my time. I can’t waste it anymore. This might make me more socially awkward, as I no longer want to engage in surface-level interactions. Many of us are insecure, putting up facades to avoid looking less than or showing weakness. Recognizing this is crucial.
I wish psychology basics were taught in primary school. Understanding these concepts early on would save a lot of time and heartache.
In sharing my story, I hope to resonate with others who have felt the same way, who have chased shadows and longed for genuine connections. It’s a journey of self-awareness and courage, and it’s one I’m grateful to be on.
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