In the age of social media, we’re bombarded with messages about self-worth, self-love, and the importance of not settling for less. We scroll past affirmations that tell us to “know our worth” and “never give our power away.” These words sound good, but they often remain just that—words—until something happens that forces us to confront the depth of these ideas. It’s easy to nod along, believing we understand, but until life throws us a curveball that makes us look inward, we might not truly grasp what it means to validate ourselves from within.
I’ve spent decades, like many, unknowingly giving away my power. I let others define my worth, allowing their opinions, approval, or rejection to shape how I saw myself. It wasn’t out of weakness; it was simply that I didn’t know any better. When you’re conditioned from childhood to believe that love and acceptance are contingent on how well you perform, it’s easy to slip into a pattern where you constantly seek validation outside of yourself.
The root of this behavior often lies in the early years of our lives, where the system of reward and punishment teaches us that we must earn our worth. We’re praised for good grades, good behavior, or fitting in, and punished—sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly—when we deviate from what’s expected. This conditioning can create a deep-seated belief that who we are isn’t enough, that to be worthy, we must continually prove ourselves.
When you operate from this place of lack, it’s all too easy to get entangled in toxic relationships. You might find yourself in situations where you’re bending over backward to please others, ignoring your needs and boundaries, and accepting treatment that doesn’t honor your true value. I’ve been there. I lived that reality for a long time. And I’m not angry at myself for it. I didn’t know better, and it’s a part of my journey that I’ve had to own and learn from.
I wish there were an easier way for everyone to grasp their worth from the start. But life isn’t about shortcuts. It’s about the journey—the experiences that shape us, the lessons we learn along the way, and the moment when we finally decide to take the wheel and drive our own destiny. For me, that moment came after years of giving away my power, not realizing that I was the only one who could truly define my worth.
Now, I understand that worth isn’t something that others can give or take away. It’s intrinsic. It’s inherent in who you are, not in what you do or what others think of you. When you begin to see yourself as worthy of all the love, respect, and kindness you desire, something shifts. You stop settling for less because you realize you deserve more. You start setting boundaries, not out of anger, but out of love—for yourself and for others.
This shift doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of unlearning old patterns, confronting the beliefs that no longer serve you, and stepping into a new way of being. It’s about taking responsibility for your life and understanding that you are the driver of your destiny. Yes, others will still have opinions, and there will be times when you’ll be tempted to seek validation externally. But when you’ve truly embraced your worth, you’ll find that you no longer need that validation. You’ll know that, at your worst, you are still worthy—because in the eyes of the universe, you are perfect as you are. You are whole.
This realization is powerful. It’s freeing. It allows you to move through life with confidence, knowing that you are enough just as you are. And with this newfound understanding, you can finally reclaim your power and live the life that you were always meant to live. So take the wheel, and don’t be afraid to drive towards your destiny.
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