We’re told that forgiveness is the higher road. It’s in the cards, the quotes, the spiritual texts, and the endless social media reminders. And for a long time, I tried to get there. I tried to let go, move on, be the “better person.” But the harder I tried, the more I was abandoning how I actually felt.
Here’s what I’ve learned: the path to forgiveness isn’t linear. It’s not a checklist item you can force your way through. Sometimes, forgiveness doesn’t come. And that’s okay.
When I finally stopped striving to be what the world says I should be—when I paused and acknowledged that I wasn’t there yet—I felt peace. Because I was being honest with myself.
Forgiveness, or the lack of it, doesn’t define the other person. It’s just a reflection of where I am on my journey. And maybe I’ll never get there. Maybe I will. But I’m not fighting to reach a milestone that doesn’t feel true to me right now.
Growth starts with being real with yourself. It may not be a pretty picture in the beginning, so take it one day at a time or one hour at a time, whatever works best. Not everything on life’s “to-do” list has to be ticked off in one lifetime. Acceptance, not achievement, gave me peace.
I am learning to let life happen for me, not to me. A slow process but progress nevertheless.
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