I stumbled upon a really awesome video that dives deep into the explanation of attachment styles and how they affect relationships.
It discusses how the way we relate to other people is influenced by our childhood experiences, and it is often the case that we do so without even realizing it. One critical point is that people who are anxious in attachment styles may want to be closer to others and at the same time unknowingly push away their partners, while on the other hand, people with an avoidant attachment style look like they are independent but really they are defending themselves from hurting more. The give-and-take pull of these attachment styles is the reason some relationships feel like a fun ride to an extent; one individual looks for security while the other one dislikes the way they do it and withdraws.
What mostly caught my attention was the concept that healing is not merely about meeting up with the right partner. It is rather about identifying our own behaviors, tracing their origin, and learning to deal with them skillfully.
The production makes it clear that the beginning of real intimacy is when we let go of the rigid cycles that keep us interlocked.
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