Don’t Judge the Surface: A Reminder About Facades

September 14, 2024

It’s easy to assume that the person who seems all over the place—expressive, unstructured, messy—is chaotic inside. It’s equally tempting to believe that the one who’s calm, collected, and knows how to behave has it all together. But sometimes, the reality is the opposite.

The messy person may be the one who feels deeply, who’s open with their emotions, and whose heart is in the right place. They wear their authenticity on their sleeve, even if it’s uncomfortable to watch. On the other hand, the calm and composed individual may be hiding a different reality, a carefully curated facade.

Mainstream thinking conditions us to label people based on what we see. But appearances deceive. Sometimes, the “cool, calm, and collected” person is a covert narcissist—someone skilled at manipulation, presenting a perfect image, all while hiding the truth of their intentions. Meanwhile, the empath, the one who seems messy, is actually the one who’s honest and grounded, but chooses to show up as they are, not how the world expects them to be.

Don’t judge people by the surface. What’s underneath can be the complete reverse of what you think. Look beyond the facade.

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