I come from an Asian culture where performance is in the DNA. Where saving face is second nature. Where being liked and respected isn’t just desired—it’s expected, even if it means suppressing your truth. We become polished, practiced, polite. And somewhere along the way, we forget who we actually are.
I’ve been there. I’ve done it. And I hate it. Deeply.
It’s exhausting to keep performing. It’s draining to say yes when your soul is screaming no. And frankly, it’s a waste of time—time we won’t get back. I’m no longer interested in the dance of inauthenticity, in preserving someone else’s comfort at the cost of my own truth. I’m not pointing fingers—this isn’t about blame. I had to wake up and do the work to see how I contributed to my own pain. So this isn’t anger. This is clarity.
If you’re Asian and reading this—pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Are you being real with the people around you? Or are you being nice because that’s what you think you’re supposed to be? Are you being polite to avoid discomfort, even if it costs you your voice?
Let me be clear—I’m not out to shame, hurt, or embarrass anyone. But I’m also not going to sugarcoat the truth to protect someone’s fragile ego. If I speak honestly and with kindness, and your response is silence, defensiveness, or passive aggression—thank you. That tells me everything I need to know. You’re not ready for the level of honesty I now require.
Because I’m done. I’m done managing egos. I’m done tiptoeing. I spent too many years walking on eggshells, abandoning my voice, wearing the mask to make others feel comfortable.
Not anymore.
My circle is small now, but it’s solid. It’s filled with people who tell it like it is, who hold me accountable, and who can take the same in return—with kindness, with love, with growth. That’s the only kind of energy I’m making space for.
Everything else?
Time suck. Soul suck. And I’m not playing anymore.
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