Lies and What Lies Beneath

September 14, 2024

As a society, we’re quick to judge someone for lying—and, in some ways, that judgment is warranted. Lying can fracture trust and damage relationships. But before we jump to conclusions, it’s important to look deeper, to understand why someone lies. That understanding, I believe, reveals more about a person’s character than the lie itself.

Reflecting on my past, I know I’ve lied out of fear. Growing up in a strict household, I was afraid of punishment—physical punishment—and so telling the truth felt dangerous. Fear pushed me into dishonesty, and at that time, it felt like the only way to protect myself.

Then there are those who lie with ease, those whose lies are crafted so carefully that you don’t even realize you’ve been deceived. These lies are not born from fear but from manipulation, from a desire to control outcomes. And while both types of lying may look the same on the surface, the motivations behind them are very different.

In my healing journey, I’ve learned not to judge too quickly. When someone lies out of fear, their soul remains intact; they are trying to protect themselves. That’s something that can be worked through, healed. But when someone lies to manipulate, to protect their interests at the expense of others, it becomes harder to see the path forward for them.

I believe everyone has the opportunity to grow from their past mistakes, but understanding why we lie is crucial to that growth. So before passing judgment on a lie, ask yourself: what lies beneath?

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