That screenshot stopped me in my tracks. “If they never heard your side of the story, then the side they did hear is just a reflection of how they already felt about you.”
That hit me. Because for so long, I chased after people to understand me. I thought if I explained enough, showed them enough, laid out the truth in detail—they’d finally see me for who I was. But here’s the truth I’ve learned: you can’t make anyone understand you. Understanding is a decision, and it’s not yours to make for them.
And once I really sat with that, I realized something else—this is actually a filter. The people who are meant for you don’t need endless explanations. They’re curious. They want to know you—not just the good parts, but the messy, flawed, human parts too. They don’t call it weakness; they see it as being real. The people who are determined to misunderstand you? They were never your people.
The shift only came when I started embracing all of me. The good, the growing, the parts I’m proud of, and the parts I’m still working on. We’re all flawed. We all have egos. We all react from that place sometimes. But self-awareness helps you see it—helps you know when it’s your ego talking, and when it’s not. That’s what changes everything.
Now, I see it differently. I watch. I listen. I pay attention to the gut feeling I get about someone. And when the time comes, their reaction—or their silence—gives me the answer. No more chasing. No more trying to convince.
Because we are too flawed, all of us, to give anyone that much power over our identity. Their perception doesn’t define who you are. It only reflects who they are.
And here’s the beauty: once you stop defending yourself to the wrong people, you make space for the right ones. The ones who bring out your best. The ones who will tell you the truth, but with kindness. The ones who can be anyone—maybe not the person you hoped would show up, but a friend you just met, a neighbor, or someone unexpected who simply gets it.
That’s what peace looks like. A smaller circle, maybe, but a truer one.
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