There comes a point when trying to be understood becomes exhausting.

You explain yourself. Then explain yourself differently. You clarify your intentions. You find better words. You send the longer message because the shorter one didn’t work. You search for the perfect analogy that might finally make someone say, “Oh. Now I understand.”

And eventually you have to ask yourself:

Why am I working this hard to make someone curious about me?

Pause for a moment and look at the other person.

They are just as capable of asking questions.

What did you mean by that?
Why did that hurt you?
Help me understand what you’re experiencing.
Is there something I’m missing?

Curiosity isn’t a skill available only to the person who feels misunderstood.

At some point, constantly explaining yourself can become another form of abandoning yourself. You’re so busy trying to get inside someone else’s head and change how they see you that you’ve stopped asking whether they’re making any effort to enter yours.

Not everyone will understand you. Some people may remain committed to a version of you that no amount of explaining will change.

Let them.

You don’t have to keep auditioning for understanding.

Relationships require two curious people.

Sometimes the most peaceful thing you can do is stop explaining, stop chasing, and leave enough silence for the other person to become curious.

And if they don’t?

That tells you something too.