The Cost of Assumptions

March 31, 2025

I’ve come to realize something that’s reshaping how I approach people and communication: if someone makes an assumption about me and chooses not to clarify, even when I offer the space to talk—I no longer take it personally. To me, that’s a quiet commitment to misunderstanding.

Too many people move through life not communicating when they’re hurt or confused. They hold onto assumptions for years—sometimes decades—only to realize much later, “Oh… that’s what that person meant.” But by then, the time, the connection, the opportunity—it’s all gone. Lost to silence.

I don’t chase understanding anymore. I know I’m not cookie cutter. I’ve been misunderstood more times than I can count, and for a long time, I would bend over backwards to explain myself. But that’s exhausting. It drained me. I’ve learned that when someone is committed to their assumption, there’s nothing I can do to change their mind. And respectfully, I won’t try. That’s not my burden.

If you don’t communicate and you’ve made a judgment about me, I’m not responsible for it. I will emotionally disconnect, not out of coldness, but because it’s pointless to maintain a connection based on surface-level pretense or quiet judgment. Life’s too short for that.

This isn’t about anger. It’s really about finding clarity in how I navigate human relationships. It’s also about choosing to invest in people who are open, curious, and capable of honest conversation. Communication is key—not for perfection, but for connection. And if nothing else, maybe this perspective will plant a seed in someone’s mind: you don’t have to chase being understood. You just have to be true to yourself.

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