The Cost of Being Real

February 12, 2025

You can’t be real and likable at the same time. That’s the truth so many struggle with, myself included, but I am getting better at caring less, as I understand and accept who I am at my core. We all run from shame, from being seen as less than. It comes from an innocent place—survival, belonging—but as adults, we mask it with tools that aren’t always pleasant.

The deeper you connect with yourself, the harder it is to negotiate your core values. And real ones? They don’t negotiate. They can’t. Authenticity isn’t a choice; it’s a way of being. You can feel it in others, even when they say all the right things. But you can’t always tell them that—they’ll filter it through their own lens, and suddenly, you’re the problem.

The challenge isn’t just in recognizing this but in staying consistent, silencing the mind, and being present despite the noise. That’s daily work. And that’s why being real will never be easy for so many, who are living unconsciously and those who fear meeting their own demons.

Healing isn’t a linear path but a path well worth the struggle it takes to be able to make a choice between living instead of coping with life.

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