There’s a powerful quote attributed to Margaret Atwood that has lingered with me: “The desire to be loved is the last illusion: Give it up, and you will be free.” At first glance, it may seem like a direct challenge to a basic human need—to be loved. Yet, when you dig deeper, it speaks to something greater: non-attachment.
In Buddhism, non-attachment means releasing the need for things to be a certain way or expecting them to fulfill our desires. When we fixate on the need to be loved—whether it’s from others, from society, or from ourselves—we bind ourselves to an expectation. We focus on the future, on the ‘what ifs’ or the ‘should bes,’ and in doing so, we lose the present moment.
True freedom comes from letting go of that need, not because love isn’t beautiful, but because our attachment to it can become a cage. This isn’t an easy process, and it’s not a switch you flip overnight. It’s a journey, and for some of us, it’s a treacherous one. Speaking from personal experience, there’s a struggle in finding the balance between accepting love and being free from needing it.
But when we release the need for love to be anything other than what it is, we allow ourselves to simply be—to exist fully in the present. And in that presence, we find freedom.
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