When Nervous Systems Collide

May 14, 2025

What if conflict isn’t personal?

I attended a session with Vienna Pharaon, author of The Origins of You, and one takeaway hit hard: conflict is often just two nervous systems trying to protect their hosts.

That changes everything.

Instead of seeing someone as the cause of your pain, what if you saw their reaction—and yours—as safety mechanisms clashing? It doesn’t erase the discomfort, but it softens the blame.

Maybe that’s the beginning of true compassion: not excusing the behavior, but understanding the biology behind it.

Two people. Two wounds. Two systems sounding alarms.

That’s all.

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