There is a particular kind of pain that comes from waiting to be chosen. Not the clean pain of rejection, which at least has the decency to end, but the slow erosion of waiting for someone who hasn’t decided yet.
The first image says it plainly: I’m no longer available to anyone who is unsure or hesitating to choose me. Read that again. Not “I’m no longer interested.” Not “I’ve moved on.” Available. As though you were a resource. A slot on a calendar. Something that could be occupied or left vacant depending on someone else’s schedule of desire.
The question worth sitting with is not “why won’t they choose me?” It is “why have I made their choosing the condition of my worth?”
Most people who struggle to see their own value have spent years, sometimes decades, outsourcing that calculation. They hand the spreadsheet to whoever is in front of them and wait for the result. If someone treats them well, they feel worthy. If someone hesitates, they feel like a question mark. If someone leaves, they feel like an answer.
This is not love. This is a hostage situation with no captor and no ransom note, because the prison was built from the inside.
The second image shows a girl in profile, her brain exposed, a butterfly and a daisy growing inside it. The words read: No man or woman in this world is worth your mental health. Always remember this. The grammar is imperfect. The truth is not.
Your mental health is not a bargaining chip. It is the ground you stand on. You cannot negotiate from ground you’ve already given away.
Here is what no one tells you about people who don’t love themselves: they are not broken. They are trained. Trained, usually early, by people who should have known better, to tie their internal state to external approval. To read the room before they read themselves. To monitor how they’re landing before they’ve even finished a sentence.
Deprogramming that is not a matter of confidence. It is not a matter of “working on yourself” in the vague, Instagram-caption sense. It is a matter of learning, slowly and with great difficulty, that your worth precedes every encounter. That it is not awarded by the people who choose you and revoked by the people who don’t.
The person hesitating to choose you is not withholding a verdict on your value. They are simply revealing that they are not the right witness to it.
Stop waiting for the verdict. Stop making yourself available to the courtroom.
The butterfly inside the brain in that drawing is not decorative. It is alive. So are you — regardless of whether anyone has gotten around to noticing.
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/DYsKGI1kWcL/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
0 Comments