You don’t get to your why until you’ve had the knocks. At least that’s been my experience.
It’s like peeling a carrot. Maybe not that thin. In my case, the layers have been thicker. Layers of life experiences where you’ve taken on everybody else’s narrative and made it your identity. And then every knock removes a layer. Peels it away. It’s painful. It’s like losing skin. But you’re getting closer to the core.
And then it becomes clear. Your story starts to come together. And that why never just started one day. The why was always in me. I just couldn’t get to it. I didn’t need it. But there was something in there, always.
If I look at the path of least resistance in my life, it was because I followed my why. Unconsciously. Least resistance in the sense that I was performing to adapt. And when I stopped performing, it was like taking the express lane closer to my core. To my why.
I think your why starts from the beginning. It starts pretty early. You just don’t get to meet it. And it depends on your life’s experiences how much farther away you drift from it when you don’t choose yourself.
When you perform to adapt. You get closer to it when you stop performing. But most of the time, we’re living unconsciously, pointing towards belonging and inclusion. And that’s what makes us do things that aren’t aligned with who we actually are.
Then external forces, governments, institutions, families, whatever it is, they influence you. In some way or another, directly or indirectly, they either push you further away from your why or pull you closer. But it’s not the same for everyone.
I do feel like we all have a why. And it’s usually something that triggers us. It could be injustice. It could be money, for those who struggled and promised themselves never to be in that position again. Money as safety. I am in no position to tell anybody that’s not a valid goal or dream or why.
But I really do think the soul arrives naked. And I think you have to filter through what influences your why, whether it’s coming from a place of fear or a place of empowerment. I think that’s where you draw the line. I think that’s where clarity sets in.
But to get there, you’ve got to commit to a path. You can’t just read the books. You can’t just get your own yoga mat. You can’t even look like it. You can’t even dress like it. I think you just have to be it. And you know it when you feel it. And for some, only when you allow yourself to feel it.
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